Confessions

Tell me how you really feel about her, paolo...

"What do you mean, Meghan?"

Don't play dumb with me you crazy asian, you, tell me.

"hahaha..i'm sorry, what do you like me to say..I can't describe Emily in anyway.."

you're crazy. don't ever lie to me, say what you say from your heart.

"from my heart, eh? Emily...."

Go on..i'm impatient..

"Emily, Emily..she's simple. she's like no other girl, though crazy and random that she is she's really just a normal person.."

That's all you could say?

"...she's annoying in a good way, she's always happy and never shows her sadness to other people. she smiles everyday like there's no end. She believes in the things that I sometimes doubt, and worry when something isn't right...she's stubborn with everything. she's too hyporcritical about her sayings, yet she's right...."

why are you making her sound like she's a bad person??!

"BUT..But, my god meghan, I could never get enough of her. She's the life of the party, she's always the smile on my face, she brings me joy everyday, the sun on my rainy day, the warmth of my cold, the light in my dark.."

Hahaha..paolo..

"You have no idea. She has no idea how she makes me feel...if only we were allowed to know and feel what's it like to be the other person for just once, I want her to know what it feels like when she's around me, how i get to smile for no apparent reason. Just hearing her voice on our late night calls, her soft and very loving voice, and how it makes me close my eyes and just sleep away with her breathing through the phone, or even she sends me posts on facebook with just anything. wall links to messages. Those may be just little things, but they mean a lot to me...She...Emily..my god, i mean my god, I'm always thankful that I could be with someone so normal, yet everyday she's special..."

Paolo....

"Meghan, I always think about our future together, I'm overthinking, but what if...of course the change, we all change, not going to lie. we have to. some part of us has to move on, but not my feelings for emily. I'm going to hold on to that, I will. She fears me leaving her, I fear her for leaving me...I want to hold on to my feelings and I want to hold her. I want to hold her everyday..."

Go and hold on to her then. silly..

"I will! I want this. I do. I want to be her boyfriend that makes her know that everyday that she's the only girl for me. I don't know much about the other guys that she was with, all I know they weren't too cool and man, they really hurt her. I'm afraid that I might end up doing so....I always make her happy, that what she says, but am I really? I know that I hurt her when I'm not honest, I know that whenever I try to open up and hesitate, she wants to be there and yet, i'm pushing her away...I want it to stop. I want her to smile and I want her to know that, I'm trying..I have to prove to her.."

You know that she loves you too, right

"Yes, I do. But I love her more..."

You know that she doesn't want you to beat yourself

"I know that I'm not perfect. I try for her because I like the best for her, and I give her the best of me..."

She doesn't deserve that. she just wants you.

"........"

don't give up!

"I'm not going to..let me prove to you that I won't.."

Do it for her because I think she's afraid to lose you, like you said...

"...I really want to sleep with her.."

You're a pervert. IS that all you can think of? How dare you!

"No..No..hahaha..I mean to say, I want to make it to the future with her with me as a lover, a bestfriend, a wife and a mother...I would want to propose to her on a hot air balloon with 'Will you Marry me' mowed on the grass below, while she's looking and I'll pull out a ring and aak her to be my wife. I would love to see myslef at the altar, while she's being led by her dad down the aisle and her brother glaring at me from my side..ohh man...I want to hold her every night in bed and whisper to her corny things that'll make her laugh, I want to smile to her in the morning and kiss her forehead and wake up to a brand new day with her by my side...IF we ever had children, I want them to be as polite and shape them to be respectful kids, and Emily can have her way with them too. I don't think she'll spoil them like I will...hahaha...I want to be there for everything that she'll be facing, letting her know tha I'm always here for support, not because I think what's right, but as a friend...and she shouldnt be afraid of me to ask anything becase I'm here. I know she doesn't want any help, but..atleast...just atleast...

Oh..Paolo..why..why are you so..sweet. i'm sorry, but I can't help my tears. you're like..oh paolo..D: DON'T..Don't ever forget this..never ever ever forget your promise to her, and to me because if you will, I will kill you for Emily.

"I'm sorry, please don't cry. I'm sorry...I won't. haha. I don't want to be in that mess...I really want my future to haver her in it, I mean maybe 3 years from now, I see myself flying to Canada, and do the most awkward greeting that I could possibly think of..shaking her hand. I'll be afraid..."

hahahaha..she'll pull you into a kiss..

"...I'll hold her...forever.."

Paolo, you shouldn't worry..she knows that you love her as much as she does, and no matter what. she will not forget it. though the future is too bleak at the moment, you can shape up everything now and if that tomorrow comes, you two will be ready.

"Thank you Meghan, I'm happy that you support us. I'm losing my win...I told Emily that I want this to work and I want her help with this, just believe in us and we'll work together and be happy..I can then hold her hand forever.."

.....so again, how do you REALLY feel about Emily?

"I love her...."

Good, that's all I have to hear from you. ;)

"Haha...I should get going. it's 11:14, Emily wants me to sleep early..I have TAKS, too. so, i'm going to log out and think about some things for a bit. sorry.."

Take your time. DON'T think too much, or you'll fail. Rest okay? :D

"I will...good night!"

btw..what was that HER story?

"...it was suppose to be a dedication to her. :)"

she cried. i saw her comment.

"..:P I didn't mean to..i said i was sorry.."

yeah yeah..girl-crier, go to sleep!

"I will..good night, again!"

Paolo is offline.
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....I wish every guy was like you, you know? <3