Long-Distances

Does holding on to the mantra “distance makes the heart grow fonder” begin to give you some doubts? If you’re troubled whether your long distance relationship will last long enough or not, you are not alone.

Everyday on the planet, millions and millions of people got no choice but to deal with being miles apart from their loved ones:

◦Executives on a string of offshore meetings, leaving their families behind for days
◦Soldiers fighting for freedom in a foreign land, with loved ones worrying about them back home
◦High school sweethearts pursuing college degrees in separate and distant universities
◦Overseas workers who can’t wait for their contracts to finish and be with their spouses and kids
◦Movie stars shooting abroad, feeling all alone once the filming lights turn off
◦Lovers who ran into each other online and awaiting for the day they meet each other physically
No matter who or what you are, no one is really excused when it comes to the obstacles posed by being in a long distance relationship. So, can long distance relationships work? Of course!

Snubbing naysayers

Like all those millions and millions of people above, I too once had to deal with a long distance relationship. The sad truth is no one really bothers to acknowledge the difficulties of keeping up a long distance relationship – people think it’s downright absurd and is bound for a breakup anyway.

You know what I mean if you are involved in such kind of a relationship: your parents, best friends, co-workers or classmates might have told you time and again that it’s never going to work. But that’s not true. In fact, there are a lot of things you can do to keep your long distance relationship fiery and strong.

Facing up to the challenge

Just think of it as a challenge. There’s a certain advantage to being miles away from your loved ones. Couples who got the advantage of meeting up with one another frequently somewhat fail to count their blessings after some time. But in your case, you have every reason to defy distance, to keep the connection alive, and to look forward to seeing each other like it’s the most important thing in the world!

Go on. Maintain the long distance relationship. Prove everybody wrong.

Thanks to the internet, keeping in touch with your sweetheart abroad is not as expensive as other modes of communication in the past. So there’s no reason for you to subscribe to that rubbish “distance makes the heart forget”! You can exchange e-mails, chat and call each other. You may send flying kisses via webcams or flood each other’s social networking site with sweet nothings!

Distance not a setback

Long distance relationships may sound unusual and challenging – but it’s not impossible! If you want to keep the relationship, then no one or nothing should persuade you to do otherwise – not your family and friends, and most especially not the distance.

Distance should not be the basis to end a relationship. Distance should be defied and considered as a test to make the bond stronger. You are not alone. I was once there. Millions and millions of people all around the world find it no problem. They survive it on a daily basis. And so can you!

After all, how often does it happen in a person's life that he or she falls so absolutely in love? How often in life are we honored to take such a risk? How often does it happen that nearly every passing thought brings to mind your other half, or when you think of him or her, the butterflies in your stomach do a whirling dervish? Maybe once or twice if you're super lucky. It's not just a passing fancy or some kind of silly crush. It's a heavy aching and pounding in the heart and stomach that goes on almost non-stop for days, weeks, months, and sometimes years. It's an anxious feeling that something is terribly amiss because your partner is not by your side. Even hanging up the phone on good terms can be unsettling; you're left with the final words of your lover's voice resonating in your head until the next time you talk with him or her. This is love. It's love with obstacles and challenges and lots of distance. Remember, even couples who live together have their own set of problems, but whether together or apart, only love (and a lot of effort and discipline on both sides!) determine whether they will pull through.

There are several things you might be experiencing if this is the first time you are apart. Some of these things might be frightening or confusing, but it doesn't necessarily mean there is something wrong with your long distance relationship, your partner, or with your own feelings of love. It just means you must learn a different way and routine for now, in which you can show each other on a daily basis how much you love and mean to each other.

Here are some things I felt the first time after my partner and I went our separate ways after spending 5 weeks getting to know each other and falling in love:

•Love
•Euphoria
•Grief
•Anxiety
•Uncertainty
•Fear of getting hurt

The last four points don't seem to coincide well with the first two points, but it makes sense that if you are truly, deeply in love with someone who you've just met and happens to live on another continent, then there is also going to be an element of uncertainty and fear associated with investing your heart, soul, time, and money on an incredibly special person and relationship, only to lose him or her. The stakes are much higher in long distance relationships compared to non-long distance relationships because of the added time and money as well as emotional investment needed to make this relationship work, especially in the beginning when you are trying to establish a firm foundation. Whether you are together or apart, losing the love of your life is preventable if the feelings for each other, attitudes, and goals are mutual.

My point is you shouldn't give up. Never give up.
My friends Emily and Paolo have been together for 5 months, and thy're far apart. Canada and America. They're working to make things meet...